While some families are totally okay with sharing a bed with their littles, others find it very hard to get a goodnight’s rest with a wiggly toddler in their sleep space. I always say “do what what works for your family, until it doesn’t work anymore.” This post is for those tired mommies and daddies that are ready to have their bed back. I see you and I am here for you. Keep reading for the game plan.

Toddler Bed or Crib?

Ok, so you know that you want your little in their own sleep space. Now, the question is crib or toddler bed? If your child is less than 3 years old, consider transitioning them to a crib. The reason for this is before age 3, toddlers have a hard time cognitively understanding the expectations of staying in a bed away from mommy and daddy all night long. I know what you’re thinking. “What if they climb out?” If they are active climbers, try removing the crib grate and dropping the mattress all the way to the floor. If your child is above age 3, chances are they are likely able to understand the idea of sleeping in his or her own bed.

Get Your Little Involved

Even as adults, change is hard. Our littles feel the same way, especially when things feel out of their control. Help your little one feel in control of the situation by getting them involved; allow them to pick out new wall decorations, new sheets, and maybe a few stuffed animals that they want to sleep with each night. Be sure that your little’s room is conducive to restorative sleep which means white noise, black out shades, and a ceiling or tower fan for air circulation.

Create Clear Expectations

The toddler brain loves to be prepared for any change that is coming it’s way. Prepare your little by talking about the upcoming change in advance. In the days leading up to the transition, you can read books about sleeping in his/her own room and act out the scenario with your child to help ease any anxieties. Show them exactly what will happen at bedtime and during night wakings. If your toddler expresses feelings of fear or concern during this time of change, you’ll want to validate their feelings but also maintain boundaries. This might sound like:“It’s ok to be scared, mommy and daddy will be in the next room. It’s time to get into your bed now. Which stuffed animal do you want to sleep with?” Giving your toddler simple choices during the process will keep bedtime from becoming a battleground.

Establish a Bedtime Routine

Perhaps you had a bedtime routine that needs tweaking or maybe you didn’t have one it all. Now, is great opportunity to establish a consistent bedtime routine that works for your family. Bedtime routines are a wonderful thing. They help signal to your little one that its time for their longest stretch of sleep and just like us, our littles thrive on consistency and predictability. An appropriate toddler bedtime routine might look like this: 10 minutes of snuggles & TV, book, and bedtime. This routine is the exact routine that I practice nightly with my 3 year old son. To help make the end of TV time easier, you can utilize a timer to prevent meltdowns. It’s also worth mentioning that one of my favorite bedtime tools for toddlers is a stars projector. Once my little guy gets into bed, we watch the stars change colors together for a few minutes. I allow him to choose a color. Once the stars turn that color, we say goodnight and I leave the room. This provides him another opportunity for him to make choices and feel in control. Find my favorite star projector here.

Consistency is Key

However you choose to approach this process, be sure to be consistent. Maybe you plan to sit at the foot of your toddler’s bed or in his or her room until they fall asleep. That’s a great start and will certainly make your toddler feel secure as they make the big change to sleeping in their own bed. Be sure to utilize that same strategy during night wakings to avoid confusion. This will keep your toddler’s brain in the know and will prevent anxieties from arising. It may even be beneficial to inform your little about what they can expect if they wake during the night before it actually happens so they know exactly what to expect.

Plan Ahead for Night Wakings

Ok, it’s happening. You’ve prepped your little, explained expectations, performed the bedtime routine and your little is (finally) asleep in their own bed. Fast forward to the middle of the night, the house is sleeping soundly and BAM your tiny human is standing at the edge of your bed, hovering over you in the night. This is both terrifying and exhausting, so here are some ideas to help you through this. It has been my personal experience that it is more difficult to get littles back into bed once they have left their own sleep space. To prevent this from happening, you can utilize a door monkey, or place a baby gate at your little’s door.

Now, it’s 3AM and your kid is awake, now what? Try using the Walk Back method. This means that whenever your child wakes in the night, you will quietly (with very minimal interaction) take their hand, and walk them back to their bed.

I know this can be exhausting but stay the course! It will be worth it. Continue to do this each night until your toddler is sleeping through the night in their own bed.