Adding a Sibling to the Family
You’re growing your family! You’ve posted a social media announcement and your big kid is sporting all of the “big sister” or “big brother” gear. This is such an exciting time for your family, but you’re not alone if you’re a little worried about the change. Let me assure you, you CAN and you WILL do this!
These are some tips to help:
1) Go easy on yourselves!
You just birthed a baby and have been thrown into life at home. It is okay that you are still trying to figure out how to navigate life as a mom of two (or three, or four). Take your time. Do what you need to do to allow your body to recover and give yourselves some grace. It is going to take everyone a little while to find their new place in your new family dynamic. Go easy on everyone.
In regards to your older child, try not to make any other major life changes within the first three months before or after you newest addition comes into the world. Transitioning to a big kid bed, ditching the pacifier or beginning potty training can all wait until your family is a bit more adjusted.
2) Get up & out.
Getting up and out may feel like a huge chore, but the truth is, it is good for everyone including your littlest love. Exposure to natural light will help your baby learn the difference between day and night, leading to better night time sleep. Research has also found that getting out of the house and increasing exposure to natural light can help decrease symptoms of postpartum anxiety and depression.
For your big kid(s), it is no secret that they thrive off of consistency. Keeping some elements of their pre-baby routine will help them adjust to life as an older brother or sister.
3) Plan special time with your big(s).
It is not uncommon for your toddler or baby to experience a regression after becoming a big sister or brother. This regression may show up during sleep time, potty training, or in the form of tantrum behavior. Please know that this is totally normal. They are trying to find their place in this very new world of being a big brother or sister. Try showing them all the exciting things that babies can’t do like play at the park, eat ice cream, or paint with Mommy or Daddy.
4) Lean on your village.
I never understood the adage “it takes a village,” until I became a mother. It is okay to lean on your village during this adjustment period. It is okay to need help and to ask for it when you need it. If you are someone who struggles with asking for help, before baby arrives, try to think of things that you would feel comfortable delegating to others. Think along the lines of making meals, throwing in some laundry, walking the dog or taking big kids to the park.
5) You’ve got this.
There is no one better for this job than you. Although things feel a little out of sorts right now, try to remember it won’t be like this forever. Sure, this time is tough, but so are you. You’ve got this.
